Bucket

Let me tell you about the day I found an empty bucket.
I walked to the shed, as I always do.
I opened the door.
I looked inside.
I entered the shed.
I saw a bucket.
I grabbed the bucket.
It was full of angry crabs.
An angry crab pinched my hand.
I feel down.
I dumped the bucket of crabs onto my head.
"This is the life," I thought.

Prubbish

My great grandfather was a machine.
My grandfather was a horsethief.
My father was a pancreas.
I am a telephone.

Coney Island

I know of an island
Inhabited by strange men
They only have mothers
How can the island?

Lamppost Larry

Light of my life
Standing tall and strong
Never giving way to the "wind"
So potent, so full of virility
I blush when I look at you
You flicker when you look at me
I know, I know
A match made on the corner of 67^th and 45^th

The Gruffalumps

Have you heard about them?
They enjoy green things.
Grass and envy are their favorites.
Similar to cows.
Have you heard about them?
Get back to me about that.

The Man in the Suit

Lo! I spot a man in a suit.
This is a story of the man in the suit.
Wanderer. Homeless. Without.
The man in the suit travels in search of many items.
His Italian suit is always pristine.
He wishes to make a good impression upon the items he finds.
A candy bar, a green thread, some iron ore.
Once he found a 1975 Chevy Vega.
It was too heavy though.
The man in the suit is saving for something.
He dreams of large things.
He wants to help us.
White collar, pinstripes, sapphire and silver cuff links.
His suit fits him so well.
He is a man of the world.
One day he will succeed.
It has been written.
It's in that one book, you know, by Cornhusk McLarfy.

Humerus

Once said the man with no brain.
He walks, he talks, he has no brain.
He is the man with no brain.
He runs, he jumps, he has no brain.
Perhaps he should go looking for it.
He could find it one day.
Until then he remains but a scalding social commentary.